Gimli and Legolas: Don't Challenge an Elf
by Miss Rabbit
Summary: Gimli grinned. An idea began to form in his mind. "Say, never tasted a little old fashioned beer before? Well, aren't you in for a treat, Leggy, my boy..." (Gimli&Legolas Short...oneshot! Based on the scene in the original movie.)


Legolas hummed a little tune and watched Merry and Pippin as they danced on the table with their mugs of...

"Gimli." Legolas elbowed his friend. "What are they drinking?"

Gimli wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes, the moment when Pippin had accidentally kicked that man's drink over still fresh in his mind. "Huh? What was that, elf?"

"What are they drinking?" Legolas repeated.

Gimli stopped laughing abruptly. "What? Why, only the finest beer in Middle-earth! Truly, you are a sad elf."

"What's it taste like?"

"You've never tasted it before?" Gimli gaped as Legolas shook his head. Unbelievable! He can't be serious! He stared at Legolas and recognized the sincerity of his words there.

"Jumping Gandalfs, you're serious! Why, you really are the saddest elf I've ever met! You are the most..." Gimli grinned. An idea began to form in his mind. "Say, never tasted a little old fashioned beer before? Well, aren't you in for a treat, Leggy, my boy."

"I am?"

Gimli nodded. "Oh, yes. What do you say we have a little drinking competition? You're likely to beat me, seeing as you've never had it before. You're a strong elf. What do you say?"

Legolas was a little skeptical. "Truly? You believe I can beat you?"

"Unless you're saying you can't handle it..."

As Gimli had predicted, Legolas's pride flared. "Oh yeah? Let's do it!"

Gimli grinned wider. "Right this way then...Heh heh heh!"

They began weaving their way through the crowd with many a "pardon me" and "sorry!" and always a "watch it!" yelled back at them. Once Legolas had stepped on someone's toes and received a rather nasty look from the offended, and another time Gimli knocked his head into someone's gut.

"Sorry!" Turning to Legolas, he grumbled, "Who invited all these people anyway?"

"I believe Gandalf did. You know how he likes a party."

Gimli grunted. "Oh, here we are. Take a seat, buddy." He wiggled his fingers, anticipating the mug in his hands. Ready, Legolas?

Legolas looked at him uncertainly. "How exactly are we going to do this? I've never been in a competition such as this one before."

"Oh, it's simple. We drink until one of us can't drink anymore. The last one standing wins. Ready?"

Legolas nodded. It sounded simple enough, but a little boring. They would be there for months before one of them couldn't continue. Then again, he'd never heard of a drink powerful enough to knock out a being.

Gimli chuckled. What a simpleton! He was sure to win. That gave him yet another brilliant idea. "Hey, how about a deal? If I win, I call Frodo's cool blue sword. If you win, you can have it. How about that?"

"I'm not sure Frodo would like that..."

Gimli snorted contemptuously. "He doesn't even like the color blue. I think he could bear parting with it."

"Okay."

Gimli nodded. Good. Hey, bar tender! Bring me and my friend a round of drinks. And keep them coming! I've got a blue sword to win!"

Chucking, Gimli stuck his hand out to Legolas.

"May the best dwarf...er, best man win."

A little more than half an hour later, Gimli eyed Legolas from the edge of his vision and gulped down yet another drink. If he lost this drinking competition, he'd never live it down.

Legolas felt great. He'd never been better. He couldn't understand what the drinks were supposed to do to him. Gimli seemed a little woozy, cross-eyed even, and still rambling on about how dwarves always bested elves and that no dwarf had ever lost a drinking competition.

Legolas scoffed.

"Get me another drink!" Gimli called. "I've a ways to go before I even begin to feel the beer in my belly!" He burped and looked at Legolas, blinking to get the image in focus.

"No fair!" he said, slurring his words. "You can't have four arms! That's cheating, you lousy elf!"

Legolas raised his eyebrows and looked at Gimli. "Four arms? I've only got two."

"Yeah? Why don't you put your money in your mouth? Ah, put your mouth in your money...Oh bother."

"Are you alright?" Legolas turned to accept a drink.

Gimli began to sway. "Never be...been better..." Toppling off his chair, he fell back and began to snore.

"Hey, I think my fingers are beginning to tingle, Gimli. Do you suppose it's affecting me?...Ah, Gimli?" Legolas caught site of his friend snoring. "Oh. Hey, I win!"


End file.
